Enter the Dragon

My dear friend whom I shall refer to as the Dragon [I have always nicknamed him as such] came into my life around the year 2000.  Dragon is probably the kind of person you’d stereotype into a certain niche. He looks tough and is 80% covered in tats, has some piercings and owns a bike.

He however exemplified the meaning of not judging a book by its cover as though his exterior was badass, Dragon is the kind of person filled with  ideas, of artistry, compassion and of intellect that surpasses most people’s.  Cheerful, objective, optimistic are just some of the many fine qualities he possesses.

Over the years since having first met him, I would temporarily loose contact for various reasons. He was busy, I was busy etc,. though this never really hindered our friendship and there was never a real effort to reconnect once we both would come across each other. Nothing changed, sure we’d hastily try to catch up on each others lives but there was no awkwardness  just an instant reconnection.

I  was shocked the last time we reconnected [after losing touch for nearly a year] to find that he had been in an accident. Ironically the accident was not recklessness on his part. He was on his bike at a stoplight when a station wagon rammed into him. Obviously it was pretty bad as most motorcycle related accidents are. I believe the reason behind this is mainly due to the fact that the human body is exposed in comparison to being in a car. His injuries had him in the hospital for quite some time as he had explained to me. Metal was made part of his body to replace the bones that were greatly fractured. By the time he and I were reconnecting he was only starting the process of picking up the pieces.

Recovery for him was not easy. It involved more surgery in the coming months as well as medication to ease the pain and he was somewhat borderline dependent on fermented grapes. I know this because he told me so and because I saw it myself.  I remember warning him about his unknowing dependency and he had assured me several times that he did not guzzle the stuff down every single day.

I know I should have nagged him more but you can really only do so much. The best news  I got out of that tragedy was that he was finally with someone whom he cared for deeply and who reciprocated the feeling as well. I was psyched for him and also for plans of him flying over before heading home to his folks.

Months rolled by and slowly on the news famous figures, icons were passing away no longer existing. I remember thinking how tragic it was to lose these people who I have not personally met and yet feel some strong affinity with. Perhaps the music they created belonged to my childhood thus forever immortalizing them as part of my being or that their sacrifices their glamor, artistry somehow influenced me. These are the moments that somewhat define a part of who you have become.

August 2009;

An anxious feeling had slowly crept into my gut. It stayed there, camping out as flames from the campfire slowly started to blaze harder. Making the anxiousness intensify. Out of nowhere I suddenly had an urge to speak to Dragon. I tried for his number but stupidity made me neglect to ask him the last time we spoke to get his new mobile number. I decided to stalk him on messengers instead when I didn’t spot him there I tried checking up on him on one of the social networking sites he frequents.

There were several wall posts from him and some responses from friends. Most of the messages were cryptic but made me beyond anxious upon reading them. I now had dread that felt like a big hollow lump in my gut that was somewhat starting to inflate. It got bigger and bigger as days passed and more cryptic yet terribly morose messages flooded his page. I waited thinking I was perhaps just simply being paranoid and did not want to overreact to anything. Admittedly I was definitely nursing that dreadful feeling I prayed, I don’t pray often but that time I  did. I prayed everything was okay. Though somehow in my prayers it slipped past my tongue before I even realized I said it much less have thought that it was a possibility. I prayed for his peacefulness.

I Googled to check on local news in his area. There was nothing. A week passed and I stalked him again on his page still no clue and the last person who messaged and expressed the same concern as I had, has gone unanswered.

Then there it was, one more bout of Googling and I found what I had been dreading. My dear dear Dragon is forever disconnected from me and from people who hold him dear. He has gone away and no amount of reconnecting will ever truly bring him back.

I did not cry because I simply couldn’t. The loss is unexplainable. My grief felt frozen and I sat staring at the announcement of his demise and I suppose I was still in denial as I refreshed the page several times only to have a photo of his smiling face show up every single time accompanied by words that blurred and refused to be comprehended by my brain.

That night I got sick, felt cold all over and yet my temp was burning up. My grief was so bottled in that it had to get out one way or another. Up to this day I have no full idea the entire cause of his demise. I don’t think it will ever be appropriate to contact his loved ones to ask for the cause. Doing so will only cause them pain and I cannot bare to cause them any more because losing him is already monumentally painful.

It is human to wonder what caused it but by now it is unimportant to me and the only thing I hold importance to is the gift of his friendship of having known him and of having been lucky enough to have known the person he truly is.     {8-13-09}

“We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You’re free at last.”

-Charlie Daniels

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